Shame: The Silent Killer
To create, you must be open.The surest way to close yourself off and shut the world out, is to be familiar with shame. Shame is the quicksand of the soul.
Shame is the dirty little secret that twists the knife in our backs, makes us hide our lights under a bushel, convinces us to converse with devils, and encourages us to turn away from kinder angels. Shame is a killer.
Brene’ Brown sheds light on a growing epidemic:
Please write down these pearls of wisdom from Brene’ Brown’s video.
When you’re feeling stymied, unfulfilled, not good enough, depressed, anxious, and/or absolutely NOT creative, take them out and ask yourself, “What am I ashamed of? Why?” and then let it go.
Shame is an Epidemic.
Shame drives two tapes in our minds:
- Never good enough.
- Who do you think you are?
The Difference between shame and guilt:
- Guilt: “I’m sorry, I made a mistake.”
- Shame: “I’m sorry, I AM the mistake.”
Shame is correlated strongly with drug addiction, depression, anxiety, hatred, aggression, eating disorders, and organized differently according to gender.
- Shame for women: A straight jacket
- Shame for men: Don’t be perceived as weak
Three things shame needs to grow and thrive:
What’s the antidote to shame? Empathy
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. “- Theodore Roosevelt
Make sure you are not that critic.
Vulnerability and Creating
How to you create? How do you live? How do you thrive? How do you “breakdown”? I firmly believe the following:
To create, you must be open.The surest way to close yourself off and shut the world out, is to be familiar with shame. Shame is the quicksand of the soul. Vulnerability is the fertile soil of the imaginationl.
Here’s Brene’ Brown on the importance of vulnerability. It’s long – 20 minutes, but so worth the watch.
I advise you to watch this video and think about it. Then, tomorrow, when you make the time, watch the sequel video about shame which I will post promptly at noon.