The last few weeks have been rough to say the least. In the course of the last month, I have had a Lupus Flare, Shingles, Hay-Fever, and a nasty 48 hour virus. Things have not been fun at the Kinsey Home. I have not been beautiful. As a matter of fact, I was covered in shingles (tiny blisters that burn like fire), had a runny nose (from hay-fever), my joints were red and swollen (from Lupus), and extremely pale from the war going on inside my body. To add insult to injury, I went to get my hair done, so I would feel better about myself. There was an accident with the treatment put into my hair, so my hair looked like Guy Fieri on a really bad day. Beautiful is not something I felt…at all.
During this time, I attended a writer’s conference and did not know I had shingles. I thought I was just being a weenie about my Lupus Flare. In addition, I was catching up my blog, looking into a new Church, getting some blog posts updated, and working to update my social-network. Add to that, my son was having a bit of a crisis, and I felt that I could do nothing to help him.
Beautiful is not what I felt at all, and my next doctor visit echoed that. My doctor said, “What is wrong with you? You have to slow down. You have to rest, and by that I mean going to get a glass of water is enough exercise until you improve.”
Take an overachiever with a health crisis, add in a pinch of idiocy, a teaspoon of low self-esteem, with a dash of despair, stir – and you have a recipe for disaster.
At my lowest point, I woke up in a stupor one morning, wondering why I bothered with my blog posts at all, stumbled to the bathroom, and found this note on my mirror:
Another note said, “Get some rest.”
I cried. I thanked my husband. I prayed. And, I rested.
My husband knew exactly what to say at just the right time. That’s priceless.
If you have such a person in your life, call and thank them today. If your relationship doesn’t work so well, and you need more love, just say so. Find a way to get to that place where you both care more about one-another than you do yourself. Strive to stay in that spot where you know you are loved, and your spouse knows you love them. How do you do this? Remember who is in control.
PS. If you’re contemplating marriage, are married (happily or unhappily), or are looking for a life partner, please get a copy of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It works best if you BOTH read it. I have to say it’s helped me understand the language of love more than any other self-help book I’ve read so far. It even helps me with people I’m not married to – like extended family members.